It’s time, all-important listeners, for episode eight! When last we left, Frank and his friends, along with Levanance and the newly-discovered children, were trapped in a cave with the only exit being filled with creatures! What will Frank do next?

“Past Sadness” Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

“Across The Dusty Plains (NOVOX)” Josh Woodward (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

All other music is from

Episode Eight Script

NARRATOR: Welcome back to “Let’s Be Frank”, a storytelling podcast where you, the all important listener, get the opportunity to be one of the fates that directs Frank’s actions and decisions. When last we left, Frank and his friends, along with Levanance and the newly-discovered children, were trapped in a cave with the only exit being filled with creatures! What will Frank do next? An all-important listener named Rick measured everything carefully and made a somewhat humorous suggestion to Frank. So with a grin, Frank looked to Yawana and said…

FRANK: Um, is it just me, or did the creatures stop coming forward? Achoo!

NARRATOR: Indeed, the creatures were blocking the exit but not advancing beyond that.

ALRIC: What do you think they’re waiting for?

LEVANANCE: Maybe they’re waiting for an arrow.

YAWANA: Wait! Not yet.

FRANK: Wait here, guys. I have an idea.

NARRATOR: The others kept their weapons trained on the creatures as Frank made his way to the door.

FRANK: Hey, Mog, let me in! Achoo! It’s me, Frank!

MOG: How Mog know it really Frank?

TALANA: Really, Mog? Open the door.

MOG: What password?

FRANK: Ashinorundoo.

NARRATOR: Instantly, Mog moved the door and sat it aside. Frank made his way in and approached the oldest child of the group.

FRANK: Hey, I know you’re scared. I am too. (sniffle) But, I need your help right now. Who put you in the chairs after the creatures dragged you into the cave?

CAPTIVE CHILD 1: I.. I’m not sure, sir. It was always dark and the person never spoke, at least not clearly. Are you dying?

FRANK: No, no, no, I have mold allergies. Do you remember what you were doing when you were attacked?

CAPTIVE CHILD 1: I was gathering water cress and singing when the creature came charging over some rocks. Is your allergy catching?

FRANK: No, you can’t catch an allergy. Achoo!

CAPTIVE CHILD 2: That was like me, only I was gathering kindling.

FRANK: Wait a second. Were you singing too?

CAPTIVE CHILD 2: I… I think so.

FRANK: Excellent! (sniffle)

NARRATOR: Frank ran out of the room as Mog was returning the door back to its defensive position.

ALRIC: Welcome back, Frank.

FRANK: Have they moved?

YAWANA: Not a bit.

LEVANANCE: It’s like they’re waiting us out.

FRANK: Or maybe they’re waiting for the magic moment. Achoo! Oh, oh no, it’s getting everywhere…

NARRATOR: Standing between Yawana and Levanance, Frank placed his right hand on his chest and extended his open hand outward towards the creatures.

FRANK: In the days of spring, my heart would sing, for dear sweet Mary Drother, The world thought she should marry me, Except, of course, her father.

NARRATOR: As Frank sang, the creatures became visibly angry and began coming down the tunnel. Frank immediately stopped and the creatures did as well.

YAWANA: So you sing as well?

ALRIC: I don’t blame her father.

FRANK: What?

ALRIC: Nothing.

LEVANANCE: It seems the creatures would appear to be provoked with singing.

FRANK: That was what I was hoping for. Achoo!

YAWANA: You’re not thinking-

FRANK: That’s EXACTLY what I’m thinking.

NARRATOR: Frank ran back again, banging on the door once more.

FRANK: Mog! We need you out here! (sniffle)

MOG: Mog thought Mog hold door, protect kids.

FRANK: You can do that by coming out.

NARRATOR: Moving the door once more, Mog came out.

MOG: What Frank need Mog to do?

FRANK: Mog, buddy, pal, friend… I need you to sing for the creatures. Achoo!

MOG: Mog? Sing?

FRANK: Yes. My singing wasn’t good enough, and even Yawana can’t sing like we need you to sing.

NARRATOR: Smiling broadly, Mog began walking out.

MOG: Mog voice needed. Mog sing for everyone!

NARRATOR: Mog walked to the front of the group, clearing his throat.

MOG: Mog no need warmup. Mog always ready to sing.

NARRATOR: Mog stepped to the front and began to sing.

MOG: When I was a young ork, I met a girl so mean, The day after she beat me down, I knew she was my Queen. I went up to the hilltop, To kill her something nice, But when I came back down with it, She beat me soundly twice! I wanted her to be mine, Put her name on my door, But when I asked to do that, She whipped me three times more!

NARRATOR: The creatures clutched at their ears, howling in pain and began trying to get out of the reverberating cave.

FRANK: Look! It’s working! Achoo! It’s on my shirt…


ALRIC: What?


FRANK: Get your fingers out of your ears! Let’s chase them out so we have room to fight!

NARRATOR: Mog continued to sing as the creatures began running from the cave into the light outside. Talana followed the group out. The battle did not take long, and soon all of the creatures were on the ground.

YAWANA: That was playing dirty, Frank.

FRANK: A win is a win! Achoo!

TALANA: I’m just glad we got out so I could help. I’ll go get the kids.

NARRATOR: As Talana headed in to get the kids, the others stood around to discuss other matters.

ALRIC: Well, that settles things.

FRANK: Does it, though? Who put the kids in the room? Why were they being gathered? (sniff)

ALRIC: It’s on your shirt, Frank.

FRANK: I know, I know…

YAWANA: And what is behind that other door that we couldn’t get into earlier?

LEVANANCE: You all make valid points, but don’t you feel that the safety of the children should be our top concern?

ALRIC: Of course it is. That’s why I was going to ask you to watch over them while we get Yawana to open the door.

LEVANANCE: But what about that explosive rune?

YAWANA: It wouldn’t be the first magical door I’ve penetrated in my time.

FRANK: Great! So that’s settled. You and Talana can watch the kids, and we’ll open the door in the cave. Achoo!

LEVANANCE: Very well, but be careful.

NARRATOR: As Talana exited the cave behind the children, one of the creatures on the ground sprang up behind her and went to attack.

YAWANA: Watch out!

FRANK: Behind you!

NARRATOR: Neither Levanance nor Yawana could use their arrows as Talana stood between them and the creature. Chanting quickly, a ball of magical fire erupted from her outstretched fingers. The creature quickly dodged as the fireball passed him and began entering the cave.

ALRIC: Oh, no!

FRANK: What?


NARRATOR: The group ran quickly with the children as there was a deep rumble within the mountain. Smoke and dust belched from the cave as it collapsed, flattening the creature with debris.

FRANK: Is everyone okay?

ALRIC: More or less. Yawana?

YAWANA: Landed tits first, dammit. Kids?

CAPTIVE CHILD: We’re okay.

TALANA: I’m.. sorry… I didn’t mean…

ALRIC: Well, it looks like that’s the end of “Magical Fun Time” for today. What were you thinking?

TALANA: I didn’t mean… it was an accident…

ALRIC: An accident that you tried to slay a two foot tall creature with magic the size of a house?!?

TALANA: I panicked…

ALRIC: You panicked?!?

FRANK: Alric, that’s enough. There’s no need-

ALRIC: No, there is, Frank. Someone could have died out here today, because this mage wasn’t concentrating-(stops when Talana slaps him)

TALANA: I’m not a real mage, remember? That’s what you told Frank when we first met him, remember?!?

NARRATOR: The silence was deafening between them.

ALRIC: Talana, I’m…

NARRATOR: Talana turned and walked away from Alric, moving to the kids and wrapping her arms around them.

TALANA: Come on, children, let’s get you home.

NARRATOR: Mog, Yawana, and Levanance trailed after Talana and the children, leaving Frank and Alric.

ALRIC: What?

FRANK: You know. Eventually, we’ll talk about it. Just, not right now.

ALRIC: And why’s that?

FRANK: Because I’m angry, Alric. And I know that words spoken in anger cannot be taken back, only apologized for with hope of forgiveness later.

NARRATOR: By sunset, the group made it back to town with the children. Shanna’s sister ran into her outstretched arms. She turned to look at Frank.

FRANK: We… Achoo! We, um, made it back. Found your sister…

NARRATOR: Smiling a kind smile and thanking the group, Shanna took her sister and, while keeping a safe distance from an infected-looking Frank, left to take her home. That night at the inn, there were many toasts to the heroes of the realm for saving their children and defeating the creatures.

FRANK: Hey, Alric. Step outside with me.

NARRATOR: Watching intently, Alric stood and headed to the door, Frank right behind him.

LEVANANCE: They’re not going to fight, are they?

YAWANA: Frank? No, though by the time Frank is done with him, he might wish he’d taken a beating instead.

NARRATOR: Outside, Alric stopped and faced Frank.

FRANK: I’m not mad anymore, Alric. I’m worried. I’ve had time to think, and this doesn’t seem like you.

ALRIC: Frank, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-

FRANK: Sorry, bud. You’ll need to apologize to her. Not me. I just want to know what got into you back there.

ALRIC: I… well, to be honest, Frank, I was scared.

FRANK: And that’s why you yelled like that?

ALRIC: No, that was… I mean, when I did stupid things, my father would sound like a booming mountain crashing down.

FRANK: And how did you feel when he did that?

ALRIC: Honestly? Scared.

FRANK: I’m not an expert with anyone here, but I do know one thing. She told me her teacher was cruel and vicious.

NARRATOR: Alric looked troubled.

ALRIC: So I guess I sounded just like him.

FRANK: Yeah, probably.

ALRIC: When did she tell you about her teacher?

FRANK: The very night we met.

ALRIC: I… I didn’t know. Why didn’t she tell me?

FRANK: Maybe you hadn’t understood her circumstances when you first met. You did tell me that she wasn’t a real mage that same night.

ALRIC: I didn’t really mean it like that. I meant she didn’t have her official robing to be considered a mage.

FRANK: And I didn’t have a degree back home to call myself an accountant, but here we are.

ALRIC: You’re right, Frank. I should go and talk with her, if she’ll let me.

FRANK: Awesome. Achoo!

ALRIC: Oh, and one other thing, Frank?

FRANK: Yeah, Alric?

ALRIC: Remember when I said there was no manner of return where you are victorious which Shanna would not fall in love with you?

FRANK: Yeah, I remember.

NARRATOR: Alric handed Frank a handkerchief.

ALRIC: I was so wrong.

FRANK: You had this the entire time?

ALRIC: (laughs)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the inn, Mog found himself in quite the predicament.

YAWANA: There was a young harlot from Kew, Who filled up her girl bits with glue, She said with a grin, “If they pay to get in, They’ll pay to get out of it, too!”

MOG: Mog think Yawana had enough tonight.

YAWANA: Take me to bed, orc boy!

NARRATOR: Mog scooped up Yawana and turned to the stairs.

MOG: Mog be back after putting yodeling keg to bed.

NARRATOR: As Mog walked to the stairs, Levanance turned to Talana, who was staring into her untouched mug of ale.

LEVANANCE: You know, it’s really hard for normal men like Alric to understand complicated issues like magic.

TALANA: And you think you do?

LEVANANCE: Completely? No, of course not. That is why I use a sword. However, it’s also why my sister became a mage.

NARRATOR: Talana looked up, her puffy eyes looking tired from the events of the day.

LEVANANCE: The larger issue I had to learn from my sister was that I had a tendency to take what she did for granted.

TALANA: Sometimes, I feel like that.

LEVANANCE: Exactly. Finally, one day we were out and I needed her help and, well, she didn’t do anything. Obviously, it didn’t kill me or anything, but without her help my struggle was far greater.

TALANA: I’m not sure I couldn’t not help if he needed it.

LEVANANCE: Even if it teaches him a valuable lesson and it increases his respect with you?

NARRATOR: At this moment, Frank and Alric came back inside from their talk.

FRANK: Hey, Levanance, let’s go grab another ale.

NARRATOR: Levanance stood and followed Frank, leaving Talana and Alric alone. Alric sat down across from Talana.

ALRIC: Talana, I want to apologize. My behavior was irresponsible, reprehensible, and beneath the bar I set for myself when dealing with my friends.

NARRATOR: Talana watched Alric silently.

ALRIC: Will you forgive my dishonorable words?

TALANA: If you’ll stop using words bigger than Frank, then sure…

NARRATOR: Shortly thereafter, all were seated around the table, except Yawana, who was passed out upstairs.

LEVANANCE: Though there was no promise of pay or anything like that, this was a very positive experience. Is this what you guys do all the time?

TALANA: It is.

FRANK: These guys are the greatest.

MOG: Mog like helping people. Helps others learn not all orc are violent beings.

ALRIC: So, about that song of yours, Mog…

MOG: Mog will break Alric Ladyman!

EVERYONE: (Laughter)

LEVANANCE: You know, I remember reading about groups of heroes going on great quests for the betterment of people, but I never imagined I’d cross paths with one.

FRANK: I wouldn’t get too poetic about it. They just want to leave places better than they found them, and I want to help them do that.

LEVANANCE: Then, if I am not imposing, allow me to offer my blade as a continued service for-

MOG: No. Not a good idea.

TALANA: Mog? What’s wrong?

MOG: Mog no completely understand, but… Mog really feel this not right.

FRANK: C’mon, buddy, he’s fought by our side, helped us find the kids…

MOG: But… Frank, Mog feel-

FRANK: You had a bad first impression. That’s no reason to judge him harshly. Weren’t you just telling me that you wished people didn’t feel afraid when they saw you?

MOG: Frank, that different.

FRANK: Is it, though?

NARRATOR: The table was quiet for a few seconds, until Levanance spoke up.

LEVANANCE: If Mog here doesn’t feel that he can trust me, then I will respect that, even if I disagree with it.

ALRIC: You’re a good man to say that, Levanance, and Mog knows that isn’t the way the world works.

NARRATOR: The table fell quiet once more.

MOG: In village where Mog born, every vote was a thing. A rock. A stick. Representing you.

NARRATOR: Mog reached into his belt pouch and retrieved a stone and placed it on the table before Frank.

MOG: Mog trust Frank. Frank have my vote. Mog go sleep now. Mog tired.

NARRATOR: Mog made his way to the stairs, leaving the four at the table.

FRANK: Yawana would need to vote, too.

ALRIC: Unless the number of yes votes were too large for her vote to matter. Frank, what is your vote?

FRANK: I see no reason to deny him. He wants to do good. We need all the help we can get.

ALRIC: I agree, so that’s three votes. Talana?

TALANA: He saved our lives in the cave by seeing that carving in the door when I could not. He has my vote.

FRANK: It may not be unanimous, but welcome to the group, Levanance!

NARRATOR: The group lingered a bit more before everyone headed upstairs to their rooms except Levanance, who wanted to finish his drink. Minutes later, Levanance walked from the inn and down the street to a large Pymerian tree, its tiny purple flowers blooming. A cloaked and hooded figure was waiting for him there.

SHONDOUR: That was most impressive. You are working threads of discord through them even as we speak, I see.

LEVANANCE: It’s not an overtly difficult task. Granted, I had to destroy my project before its completion lest they get through the door and know that it was mine.

SHONDOUR: You will be well compensated for your troubles.

LEVANANCE: Before this is all over, I will kill Frank.

SHONDOUR: I have already said this once to another, but do not underestimate him. He is connected to divine.

LEVANANCE: I will not underestimate him like she did before me.

SHONDOUR: And you still feel you do not require additional power from me?

LEVANANCE: The power I control of my own will be plenty enough to take care of the entire group.

SHONDOUR: Good. How do you plan to accomplish this?

LEVANANCE: Through gaining their trust and breaking it when it is needed. The orc doesn’t trust me at all, however, and I don’t understand why.

SHONDOUR: It is no riddle to me. He is a shaman.

LEVANANCE: A shaman? A life dealer. That would make sense.

SHONDOUR: Now go, do as you have promised to do, and you will be rewarded as we discussed.

LEVANANCE: Of course.

NARRATOR: Levanance turned and walked back to the inn.

SHONDOUR: The great Pymerian tree. Symbolic throughout the ages as a tree of royalty. Now merely another useless plant, as the trees no longer bear fruit. Fitting, I imagine.

NARRATOR: And with that, his form shifted and blended into the darkness he stood within. The next day, Alric, Mog, and Talana were off to fetch the horses. Frank and Levanance were downstairs waiting on Yawana.

YAWANA: Did anyone see the brand marks on the herd of cattle that ran over me last night?

FRANK: Ah, you’re awake!

YAWANA: Against my better judgment. Lev, you’re still here.

FRANK: Yeah, he offered to join us and everyone said yes except you and Mog. Well, Mog gave me his vote to cast, so-

YAWANA: So we have another someone to save from themselves like you, right Frank?

FRANK: Ah, haha, you’re such a kidder, Yawana. I’m going to go and see what’s taking the others so long.

NARRATOR: Frank stood and walked out from the inn. As Levanance moved to follow, Yawana’s hand landed hard on the table before him.

YAWANA: I’m only going to say this once. You repeat it, I’ll brand you a liar. (pause) Mog is orc, and therefore used to seeing the absolute worst in people. Strangely enough, it makes him acutely aware of people and their intentions.

NARRATOR: Yawana leaned in close to Levanance.

YAWANA: Mog is the best judge of character I know. If he doesn’t like you, then neither do I. You watch yourself, and know that I’m watching you too. One slip and I’ll make you wish you never met us.

NARRATOR: Standing, Yawana looked out the window and seeing her friends smiled and waved. She turned and looked back, her smile unfaltering.

YAWANA: And I mean that.

NARRATOR: Levanance watched as Yawana left the inn with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face. Slowly, he followed her out.

YAWANA: Yay! You got my horsie!

FRANK: Yeah, why is it always dancing when we… wait, hold still, Yawana. You have something in your hair.

NARRATOR: Frank reached out and pulled a couple of small, purple flowers from her hair.

YAWANA: Hmm. I woke up with the shutters open in my room. Probably just blew in when I was snoring.

ALRIC: Lucky you weren’t pulling out the entire tree, then.

TALANA: Or convincing a Tarrasque you weren’t singing his mating song.

MOG: Poor Tarrasque. Would never know what hit him.

EVERYONE: (Laughter)

NARRATOR: As the group were standing about their horses and preparing to leave, a young man comes running breathlessly up to the group.

YOUNG MAN: I…they just… they are…

FRANK: Slow down and breathe.

YOUNG MAN: Sorry, sir, it’s just… I overheard men coming into town that the village west of here was being overrun by zombies and skeletons!

TALANA: Zombies?

LEVANANCE: Skeletons? Haha. Young man, where are these men now?

YOUNG MAN: They’re right over…wait, where did they go?

MOG: Mog no see men over there.

YOUNG MAN: But it’s true! I heard them.

FRANK: I believe you. We’ll talk about it and see what we can do.

NARRATOR: As the boy walked away, Levanance chuckled softly.

LEVANANCE: Ah, to be that young again.

YAWANA: What does his age have to do with anything?

LEVANANCE: Think about it a moment. Heroes of the realm, coming to save children from creatures and succeeding. Imagine being the one to have the knowledge we need… It’s just almost fanciful.

FRANK: He seemed sincere.

ALRIC: I seldom rely on the advice of children.

TALANA: Yet it was the descriptions given by a child that led us to find the other children and the creatures.

MOG: Mog think child speak truth. So, Frank, what we do?

NARRATOR: Frank was a little torn. He knew how children could be when around popular people and didn’t want to go out on a wild goose chase, but at the same time he didn’t want to just disregard the rather sincere words of a child who warned them of danger. Frank closed his eyes and reached out to the voices of the fates, asking their guidance once more. Quickly, he had an answer. He looked to the group and said…

Well, what did Frank say? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure myself. Remember when I told you that you, the all-important listener, would be the steward of poor Frank’s fate? Well, you really are! What will Frank do next? You tell us.

To do that, you can visit “LetsBeFrankThePodcast.Com” and click on the “What Would Frank Do?” button and, in five hundred characters or less, tell us what you think Frank should do next. You can also join us on our Facebook page to let us know there, or leave a comment in the comments area on our YouTube channel. Remember, you are the fates controlling Frank’s fate. Let’s try not to let him down.

Some of the music and sound effects in this podcast come from Tabletop Audio. If you are running a game, the perfect background music and sound effects can be difficult to assemble. But, with Tabletop audio, you can play songs fitting your campaign and use sword clangs and magical bursts to set the mood for the adventure and take your game to the next level! For your next RPG game, visit

The rest of the music comes from Kevin MacLeod’s brilliant web site If you’re looking for music for your podcast, Kevin has composed more than 2,000 royalty-free songs released under the creative commons license. So, when you need music, think, and tell him that Frank sent you.

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