Let’s be Frank is an interactive storytelling podcast. The listener follows Frank, an accountant who is magically transported into a realm of orcs, mages, warriors and other fantastical things.

Frank’s fate is in the hands of you – the listener. You will help him make an important decision each episode that will impact Frank and his friends, as well as help guide the story. The Roman philosopher Seneca once said “Fate leads the willing and drags along the unwilling” so where are you going to drag Frank?

Windswept by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4629-windswept
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Script Episode One

NARRATOR: This is not your typical story about a hero and his great journey. This is a story of a typical guy and his journey to become a great hero.

This is also not your typical storytelling podcast. In this series, you will be, well, the steward of poor Frank’s fate. This isn’t some multiple-choice wandering narrative, however; this will be a story which will be directed, even partially created, by you. Yes, you, the all-important listener. You see, in the coming weeks and months, poor Frank will be needing assistance from everyone and anyone that will be willing to assist him. He, due in part to a nudge of divinity as you will soon hear, will be challenged with very difficult decisions. So, do I have your interest? Good. Let us now move into that calm, lukewarm world of slow-moving pictures and a quiet, serene soundtrack. Let’s go into his world to help him.

Let’s be Frank.

Ah, the quaint city of Chattanooga, Tennessee. Home to the Chattanooga Choo-Choo, a zoo, an aquarium, a minor-league baseball team, and Frank.

Frank sat at his desk, finishing up the expenditure reports that were due Monday. He was respected by his co-workers in his division as a man that could be counted upon. Socially, however, he was quite the enigma. He never went out with the others after work to the local pubs or other meeting places. Most believed that he had family waiting, but they would have been wrong. It was just Frank, and he tended to go home, watch some television, then go to bed at a reasonable time.

As he continued to work after everyone else had left, there was a sudden boom which echoed through the office. Winds which came from nowhere swirled through the halls and cubicles, kicking up clouds of post-it notes, balance sheets, and forms in triplicate.

As the winds settled down, Frank peeked above his desk which he had been hiding under and saw a large, brooding creature watching him. The creature was tall, easily seven feet, and had sharp teeth jutting out from its massive, broad jaws. He also saw a pink ribbon twirled through the creature’s long hair, and deduced that the creature was female. However, Frank was progressive, so he dared not assume.

FRANK: May I… help…you?

ASHINORUNDOO: I am Ashinorundoo, and I have come to this very time, at this very place, to find the one the fates have chosen to be the summoned hero!

FRANK: Um, I’m afraid you may be on the wrong floor. Cosplayers and general convention-goers are restricted to the lower floor lobby and exhibition halls.

ASHINORUNDOO: Souls in a most dire need call to you! Would you be one who would refuse to assist?

FRANK: Um, I… I guess… I mean, if someone is in trouble…


NARRATOR: Ashinorundoo grabbed Frank by the wrist and, without a second to react or form a well-worded question, dragged them both through a portal of her creation. Passing thr ough the swirling ring of coalescing colors, Frank felt as if he were being squeezed tightly, not unlike a tube of toothpaste when almost empty. When the blinding lights finally subsided, he found himself standing on the far side of a campfire from a group of actors from a medieval themed restaurant.As his eyes adjusted, he saw a woman with a guitar, another girl in odd looking robes, and a man with a sword. The other being present was similar to Ashinorundoo, only presenting as a male of the species. This male creature was holding a feather and a squirrel’s tail over the fire while chanting. The chant immediately stopped on their arrival.

ASHINORUNDOO: You have called my name and I have answered you, my most loyal servant! Here, I bring you the hero you requested of me, your prophesied one! I bring you… (whisper) Tell them your name!

FRANK: Oh, um, right. Hi, guys. I’m Frank.

NARRATOR: The group on the other side of the fire seemed a bit… unimpressed.

MOG: Me no see weapons. No see armor.

ALRIC: As for myself, I see neither courage nor resolve.

YAWANNA: He’s a bit scrawny. I might break him.

MOG: Great and merciful goddess, we grateful… but… is goddess certain-

ASHINORUNDOO: Of… Of course I’m certain! I HAVE SPOKEN!

NARRATOR: And with a swirling of wind and magic, the ork Goddess Ashinorundoo disappeared, leaving poor Frank in a very precarious situation.

FRANK: Wait! I… Well, there went my ride.

NARRATOR: There was a long silence as the group on the other side of the fire examined Frank intently, until the large creature finally spoke.

MOG: Goddess say this puny man is our hero.

FRANK: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me puny-

ALRIC: Hero? I’ve seen more intimidating combat dummies.

YAWANNA: Say, isn’t that your title, Alric?

ALRIC: Hold your tongue, Yawanna, or you may well lose it.

YAWANNA: There’s a lot of me and my parts that I can hold back. My tongue’s not one of them. Besides, I think it could take you…

TALANA: (giggles)

ALRIC: Filthy bard…

NARRATOR: Alric stood and, walking slowly around the fire, made his way closer to Frank, his sword slowly leaving its scabbard.

ALRIC: If he is such a great hero, I’m certain that if I were to attack him, he could easily-

MOG: You no hurt Frank Punyman.

NARRATOR: Mog stepped between the fighter and Frank defensively, fists clenched in defiance.

MOG: Goddess say he chosen one.

ALRIC: And if she’s wrong?

MOG: You DARE question GODDESS?!?

NARRATOR: Moving swiftly, Mog took Alric’s sword arm by the wrist with one hand and Alric’s neck by the other as Alric’s sword clattered to the ground beneath him.

ALRIC: No, no, just a rhetorical question! (pause) Could you put me down now?

NARRATOR: Moving to the other side of the fire, Frank settled in beside the girl that had been speaking earlier.

FRANK: Are your friends always this violent?

YAWANNA: Yep, most of the time.

FRANK: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name…

YAWANNA: Yawanna.

FRANK: Yawanna?

NARRATOR: The bard moved quickly into Frank’s personal space.

YAWANNA: We just met, but sure! Not gonna turn down a chance with the chosen one…

FRANK: I’m sorry, but no, I… I just…

MOG: No tainting Frank, Yawanna!

YAWANNA: Fine, fine! (whisper) Maybe later, huh?

NARRATOR: Yawanna moved away from Frank to join the girl in robes. Mog joined Frank in watching the two ladies talk among themselves.

FRANK: So, Mog is it? (pause) Who’s she?

MOG: She… um, how say… She wiggles fingers and makes things happen.

YAWANNA: (purrs loudly)

ALRIC: He means she’s a mage, you itch trap!

YAWANNA: Itch trap? That a new one. I like it!

ALRIC: Frank, she’s not really a mage. She was an apprentice once, but didn’t finish her training. She ran away and we took her in.

NARRATOR: Frank could see the shame on her face as Alric spoke. Thinking only a moment, Frank walked to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. He noticed her flinch a little.

FRANK: Hey, I’m Frank. It’s okay of you didn’t finish training. Neither did I.

NARRATOR: The girl raised her eyes to meet Frank’s.

FRANK: I went to junior college for accounting. I had a job but I still ran out of money before I was finished, so I left the school. Instead, I just worked hard and learned as I went, and now I’m an actual accountant.

ALRIC: What is this accounting title you speak so proudly of?

FRANK: It means that I handle the finances for a company.

ALRIC: (slyly)So, you’re a master of coin?

FRANK: I… guess…

MOG: So, Frank rich man!

FRANK: What? Oh, no, I’m not what-

ALRIC: But, imagine their wealth! Thousands, maybe even tens of thousands…

FRANK: Millions, actually…

NARRATOR: And at that moment, with no warning, Yawanna planted her lips squarely upon Frank’s.

FRANK: Wha- What was that for?!?

YAWANNA: I claimed you first.

FRANK: What? Wait, no, you don’t understand. Sure, I add, subtract, calculate and all, but I only see the books and spreadsheets. I never actually see the money.

ALRIC: Suddenly bored again.

NARRATOR: The others turned back to the fire. Frank noticed that only Talana did not.

TALANA: (quietly) I’m Talana. I didn’t finish… well… because…

FRANK: It’s okay. Take your time.

TALANA: My teacher, Montrovos, was a cruel and hateful man. Nothing except perfection was ever good enough, and he would yell, and he would scream, and hr would… he… (getting emotional)

FRANK: It’s okay. No one should have to put up with people like that.

MOG: That why Frank Punyman here now.

FRANK: You know, Punyman is actually not my last name, it’s-

ALRIC: Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before? We’ll just march ourselves right up to the castle gates and urge good Frank forward to dethrone the cruel king!

YAWANNA: As well as stop his armies currently on the march towards the southern kingdom. Sounds like a plan to me. Goodnight all!

NARRATOR: And with their goals in mind, the group settled down for the night. Frank, having no gear, slept on the ground.The next morning, the group headed through the forest until they reached the crown city of Auvendale.
YAWANNA: It looks like there’s not as many soldiers and guards as there were the last time we were here.

ALRIC: That’s because the last time we were here, they were not invading another kingdom. Most of their men are off fighting a war.

MOG: So most gone and few here?

ALRIC: It would seem so. As far as I can tell, they-

YAWANNA: Oh! My! Goddess! There’s “The Leaky Stein”! Later, fellers!

NARRATOR: Taking Talana by the hand and virtually dragging the girl, headed straight to the inn. Frank looked at the rest of the group as they followed the ladies into the inn.The Leaky Stein was renowned through the lands as being one of the best inns in all of the empire. Taking seats at a large table, the group ordered meals and drinks. As Frank only had his debit card, Mog paid for his meal. Once it was back, they began discussing their plan.

ALRIC: Well, working on the supposition that the goddess was correct, we will have to support Frank to do what is necessary to bring peace to this area.

MOG: Agreed. Goddess say Frank Punyman is chosen one.

FRANK: We’re not going to let that go, are we?

YAWANNA: So, what do we do? We could take him before the King to see what happens. We could also go after the armies and catch up to them and try to talk them out of the invasion.

ALRIC: Why stop there? We could take him to the Imperial Seat and have him work his wiles and just straighten out the empire in one fell swoop!

TALANA: I wouldn’t think that’s how it would work.

MOG: Why think that?

TALANA: (quietly) Well, Mog, when you called upon the goddess for help, you kept talking about fates.

FRANK: Yeah, she said “the ones the fates have chosen” or something like that.

TALANA: (quietly) That means that the fates are working through Frank.

ALRIC: Your point?

TALANA: None of our decisions would be successful. We weren’t chosen by the fates; Frank was. His decisions are what we will follow if we want the summoning to work like we intended.

NARRATOR: And so the group turned to face Frank. He was not prepared for this, and he knew he had to do something so he could get back before Monday, as the expenditure reports were due by then and he still hadn’t finished before he was whisked away by Ashinorundoo. He needed to make a decision. Taking a long draw from his stein, he looked the group over and said…

Well, what did Frank say? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure myself. Remember at the beginning when I told you that you, the listener, would be “the steward of poor Frank’s fate”? Well, you are. What will Frank do next? You tell us. Please visit “LetsBeFrankThePodcast.Com” and click on the “What Would Frank Do?” button and, in five hundred characters or less, tell us what you think Frank should do next? Please remember, you are the fates controlling Frank’s fate.Try not to let him down.

The music in this podcast comes from Tabletop Audio. If you running a game, having the perfect background music can be difficult to assemble. But, with Tabletop audio, you can play songs fitting your campaign and set the mood for the adventure to come. To take your game to the next level, visit tabletopaudio.com.

The rest of the music comes from Kevin MacLeod’s brilliant web site incompetech.com. If you’re looking for music for your podcast, Kevin has composed more than 2,000 royalty-free songs released under the creative commons license.So, when you need music, think incompetech.com, and tell him that Frank sent you.

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